Author Topic: Blaze Right-size Scouting Department: All Scouts Fired  (Read 754 times)

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Offline benjem

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Blaze Right-size Scouting Department: All Scouts Fired
« on: October 20, 2018, 12:09:46 PM »
August 1, 2077 - New Orleans

Yesterday the "brains" behind the Louisiana Blaze finally came to grips with the total, dismal, abject failure of their so-called “Scouting Department.” The Blaze fired chief scout, Batyr Forguechilalozovyev and released his staff of 22 scouts from their contracts.

The mysterious Forguechilalozovyev, known as “the Hammer,” became chief scout early in 2075, just prior to the Blaze’s strategic pivot to Central Asia. His predecessor, Doug “Mudball” Spudders, was killed in a mysterious late night single-car accident/explosion pier-plunge, and the unknown Forguechilalozovyev was named Chief Scout two days later.

“In retrospect,” team vice-president Skyler Jemmerson said, “our focus on Russia and the central asian nations, which we had been led to believe was un-discovered baseball country, was, perhaps, ill-advised. Our baseball camp in Turkmenabat was largely under-utilized, though we did recoup some of our extensive losses by renting out space to various insurgent groups. Similarly, our attempt to form a low A-level farm club in Bishkek was also poorly conceived, as the squad was unable to find another club to play against.”

“We are thus closing out all operations in Russia/Central Asia. As we had been “all-in” on our Central Asia strategy, all of our scouts had been assigned to that region. As we are now “all-out,” they are now, henceforth, unemployed, if not unemployable.”

“Interviews for a new Chief Scout will begin immediately, or in the very near future.”

With the Blaze suffering through a season in baseball hell, there has been little positive news to distract fans, players, and the press from their endless complaints regarding the so-called scouting department’s inability to bring any new foreign talent under contract.

In fact, most fans have long since forgotten the last free agent signing by the Blaze. This was back in early December  of 2076, when they signed centerfielder Mauro Quintana from the Dominican Republic. It is widely speculated in the press-box that Skyler Jemmerson himself signed Quintana, while on his vacation in the DR, after seeing him swing a rug-beater at their beach-side resort.

Since last December Blaze fans have watched from the bleachers as nearly every other NPBL club has reaped the youthful and promising rewards of effective international scouting. As other clubs gleefully announce their signings of future stars, the Blaze season continues it’s death spiral, and young Quintana struggles to remember where the bases are located, and why they are important.

Even prior to the misguided efforts in Russiastan, the scouting department under Mudball Spudders had been under fire for a lengthy string of inept draft selections. First round picks for the last ten years include:

2067: DC Hey - AAA
2068: Donavon Youngdahl - AAA
2069: Billy Sol Hardwhistle - AAA
2070: Erskine Ivy - A
2071: Django Whup - NPBL
2072: Bob Chance - AA
2073: Gabrial Wick - AA
2074: Quado Shaqodoon - A
2075: Lobo Escovedo - Rookie
2076: Jackson Sparks - AA
2077: Drew Palmer - Rookie

Now, with an aging team that is fading in the standings and in the memories of their few remaining fans, the Blaze front office must consider its own culpability in this epic baseball failure, this painful demise of a once great franchise.

Fortunately for the front office, there are few fans left who care enough to ask whether Skyler Jemmerson knows where the exit is, and what it is used for.